The first daughter of the Alaafin of Oyo, Oba Lamidi Adeyemi, Sade, shares the private life of the king with OLUFEMI ATOYEBI
What was the experience of growing up in the palace?
Growing
up in the palace was a combination of cultural and moral discipline,
wrapped in extreme wealth. My father was a soldier, so he was firm and
strict in the training of his children. He is from a wealthy family but
he did not spoil us.
Every morning,
we listened to the palace elders who told us the history of the Yoruba
and its ancestors like Ifa, Sango, Ogun, Obatala and so on. We were
awoken by the sound of drums and cultural rhymes. We were dressed in
traditional attire with expensive beads lining our plaited hair. As the
first daughter of the king, I always led the procession when it was time
to present gifts to visitors in the palace. You cannot grow up in such
an environment without being enshrined in Yoruba tradition.
How did Alaafin train his children?
My
father is the head of the Oyo Kingdom and the administration of the
empire takes place in the palace. There is nothing that goes on in the
palace that does not get his approval.In those days, we enjoyed the
presence of the Alaafin even though he was very busy. He is a wonderful
father who played his roles in the development of his children. He still
does it today. He created time to see us and he was always telling us
to ensure that we strive to be successful in life irrespective of our
wealthy background.
Was there a clash between western and traditional education in the palace?
In
as much as my father was specific about the training of his children in
traditional history, he did not joke with their education. We all
attended the best schools around. My father supported my decision to
study in the United States. He has many children but we all received
excellent western education. Aremo, who is the first son, is a lawyer
but he is also gifted in local musical instruments. He plays the drum in
the church. So, our training was a combination of both the traditional
and western education.
Does the Alaafin also play traditional instruments?
My
father does not only preach culture, he practices it. He chants
cultural praise and dances to bata drums. He sings and knows everything
about the tradition of his empire. He ensured that all these were passed
unto his children.
How much of these did you imbibe?
I
don’t know how to chant the traditional rhymes but I can dance and beat
some drums. My father leads by example and I love doing that a lot.
Sometime ago, we were walking around Oyo and he suddenly stopped by a
bean cake seller and bought some. I was shocked but that is the kind of
man he is. He is not power-drunk and he shows a lot of humility in the
way he leads the people. He mingles with people at the grassroots
despite the position he occupies in the kingdom.
Did you miss the palace when you moved to the US?
I
was 13 when I moved to the US for college and university education. I
graduated with a degree in marketing and management and worked in the
banking industry. I also married in the US and gave birth to a girl
before I divorced my husband.
I came
back home some years ago with my daughter who is now a final year
student of the Osun State University. It is always nice knowing the
world outside your home but sincerely, I missed the robust relationship
that I enjoyed while growing up in the palace with my parents.
Why did you decide to come back home?
I
came home because I want my daughter to imbibe the real Yoruba cultural
values, which she could not get in the US. We are from the royal family
and I witnessed the grandeur associated with being the child of a king
while growing up, so it will be unfair to the girl if I continue to keep
her away from royal finery. I am happy that she has decided to make the
Yoruba literary genre called oriki as a case study in her final year project. She is always with the Alaafin who is helping her in the project.
Your name was synonymous with the Oranyan Festival held in 2012. Was the idea conceived by you?
The
Oranyan Festival is in its second edition but credit must go to my
father for such a brilliant initiative at a time when it is increasingly
important to bring together the Oduduwa race and reaffirm its dominance
in the West Coast of Africa. The maiden edition was a big success with
the Yoruba in Diaspora attending. It is a reunion of the sons and
daughters of Oyo Ile and a platform to honour their ancestors. Oranmiyan
was a hero whose worth in Yoruba history remains evergreen. The empire
he started cut across the West Coast of Africa and he is the grandson of
Oduduwa. In a way, we were able to wrap the celebration around tourism
which broadened its attendance.
Why did the Alaafin wait for so long before honouring his ancestors?
The
Alaafin is the custodian of the Yoruba heritage. He celebrates his
ancestors in many ways every day. It was just another way of remembering
Oranmiyan. Because of the excellent arrangement and the way it was
packaged, the festival enjoyed wide coverage and acceptance. Everyone
was proud of my father’s brilliance and respect for the Yoruba race. We
had over 10,000 guests from all over the world.
I
have siblings in almost every discipline and they all came around to
give their support. I have a consulting firm that helped in the planning
and execution of the programmes. This year, we are even more involved
because of the response of the Oyo Alaafin including the Oyomesi, the
Oyo State Governor Abiola Ajimobi and others who gave their support.
How much time did the Alaafin devote to recreation when he was younger?
My
father was a boxer and he jogged a lot. I remember that he would lead
us in morning exercise around Oyo town. Sometimes, when we were
returning from an occasion, he would tell us to come down from the
vehicles and trek home. It happened recently when he ordered everyone to
trek to the palace from Durban Stadium. He still visits the gym and
it’s amazing that at 75, he is still full of energy and jogs two miles
every week and walks back to the palace from the stadium. Approximately,
he jogs for about three hours each time he goes to the stadium. But
doctors are telling him to slow down now because his body is not in the
state it was many years ago.
What were the things he enjoyed doing?
When
we were growing up, he liked taking us with him when he travelled
outside the country. We went with him to the UK, the US and many African
countries. The older children enjoyed so much of him but the younger
ones came when he was slowing down in social activities.
Apart
from that, he liked to cook his food once in a while despite having
cooks and his wives in the palace. I once fried eggs for him and after
tasting it, he told me I did not know how to cook, so he prepared it
himself. He has great kitchen skills and he still likes to flaunt it.
It’s fun being with him because he likes playing with his children.
What is his best food?
Because
he was an athlete, he likes taking light food. His best meal in the
morning is pap. He became a king in his mid-30s and till date, he still
keeps that habit. He likes amala and gbegiri (bean soup)
for lunch. He takes herbal medicines and he does not eat outside. During
the fasting period, he ensures that he breaks the fast at home. But if
he has to eat outside, he makes sure that the food is prepared at home
and it must be enough for everyone in his entourage.
As a foremost traditional ruler of multi-religious people, how does he celebrate other festive periods?
They call him Iku baba yeye alase ekeji orisa,
meaning the next to the ancestors. But he celebrates with Christians
and Moslems. We kill rams during the Eid-El-Kabir celebration and
invite people to the palace during the Christmas and Easter periods.
That is not a difficult thing for him to do because he gives everyone
the opportunity to live according to their beliefs.
Your mother is the first wife of the Alaafin. Does he give her children preference?
As
the first wife of the king, culture and tradition give some roles to my
mother in the palace. She is the first to see the king in the morning
and she plays a leading role among the women when there is an important
occasion in the palace. But my father treats all the children of his
wives in the same way. I am very close to him now because I am involved
in many cultural projects the king is executing through my consulting
firm.
I have shown great interest in
cultural values since I returned to Nigeria, he appreciates my
concerns. I have received a merit award as Cultural Ambassador and
Prestigious Princess of Isese Parapo Oyo. Each time he sees me, he
always wants to discuss culture with me.
But
he devotes the same time and attention to his other children who visit
him. He adopted many children and we all lived together in the palace,
enjoying the same royal treatment. At home, we didn’t have slaves as it
was in the past, what we had were children of the king no matter who
their parents were.
How did your father meet your mother?
They
met like any other couple before he became a king. On his last
birthday, Bishop Ayo Ladigbolu was the master of ceremonies and he told
the guests the story of how my father met my mother.
My
mother was the most beautiful girl in Oke-Anpopo in Oyo. My dad, who
was a prince then would dress elegantly with royal beads around his neck
in the evening and visit my mother. Her family would scold her and tell
her to go inside the house, hindering her meeting with my father. They
did not care if he was a prince. But he persevered and married her
later. Maybe if I had got married in Nigeria with my mother beside me,
my marriage would have survived.
How romantic is your father?
Let
me tell you a story. I came home one day and my mother called me and
said the king bought her Valentine’s Day gifts. She said she was
surprised. That shows how romantic they still remain despite many
decades of being together. The love that existed when they were young is
still present in their lives.
How do you relate with you stepmothers in the palace?
We
were brought up in the traditional way, so it is normal to see many
women in the palace. Relating with them is natural because I see each of
them as my mother too.
What are the burdens of being a princess?
I
grew up in the US where my status as a princess was in the background,
except when I introduced myself as a daughter of the Alaafin. But when I
started visiting Nigeria in the late 90s, the respect I got from the
people brought back the reality that I am the daughter of a king. The
challenge is that people expect you to tell them a lot about the king
and life in the palace. The media in Nigeria have developed and they
sniff at anything. They want to know how people live their lives. It
brings people like me to the forefront and it becomes a problem to live
normally.
They want to see the
traits of the king in you which are big challenges also. I have
experienced wealth and mingled with the lowly. My father told me that
there is no difference in every human being that God created. In the
palace, there is no special seat for the rich. I don’t have rich friends
because I feel happy when I am free to associate with everyone in the
society.
Your father is
involved in a tussle with some other traditional rulers over the control
of the Oyo State Council of Obas and Chiefs. Do you discuss this issue
with him?
My father became a
king in 1970 and inherited an empire that stretches beyond Nigeria. Oyo
is the headquarters of the empire. I don’t like to go into that
discussion but the truth remains that the Alaafin has power that
supersedes that of other kings. He is not a king over a few local
government councils but a big empire, he is an institution.
Does he remember his children’s birthdays?
He
may not remember until you tell him. But once you remind him, he will
tell you the birthdays of the other children. He will tell you the
special event that marked each of the birthdays. He gives gifts to all
his children on their birthdays. But he remembers his wives’ birthdays
more.
How humorous is the king?
To
put it simply, he is a clown who jokes about everything. He is never
under pressure because he explores the funny side of every situation.
Last week, I met him and I was trying to comment on his dress. He then
moved gracefully, taking his steps gallantly.
When
any of his wives offends him, he deals with the situation in funny way.
If the wife in question is to cook for him, he will tell me that he is
not expecting any meal and that he is prepared to buy a loaf of bread.
It’s funny but that is the way Alaafin deals with every situation. He
does not quarrel with people because by tradition, they are his
subjects.
How did he feel when palace got burnt?
It
hit him hard because of the cultural artefacts that were destroyed. I
woke up so early in the morning and ran to the fire service department
in Oyo in my night gown. It was a terrifying moment in the palace. The
fire did not stop until many parts of the palace were razed. I had never
witnessed anything like that before. My father was moving from one
place to the other, telling the firemen how to arrest the situation. He
has the architectural design of the palace in his head but at the end,
everything was destroyed. No matter how much we try, the beauty of the
palace is gone. Every quarter represented a history and every statue
represented an important event. But they are all gone now. Memories and
history are erased.
For the first
time, I saw him feeling sad. His eyes betrayed the pain he felt and the
thoughts within him. It is a day he does not want to remember. But we
are coming out of the shock now. Rebuilding the palace is not all about
money; it’s about how we will preserve the few monuments left behind and
recreate the history around them. It’s the biggest ancient palace built
in 1807 and a tourists’ attraction.
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